Wednesday, June 30, 2004

The Jam Factory


Jam factory

I am feeling a whole lot better. Yesterday most of us went to the Bhura Jam Factory that is located about 7k from the Ruchi house. It was an inspirational visit. The lady who runs it is half German and half English and has lived in India for about 7 years. She supports the local economy by buying her fruit solely from i9ndaviduals and very small farms. She also employs around 40 local women to process the fruits. The house is something out of a fairy tail with its quaint stonewalls and gardens busting at the seems with life and color. A rainbow of roses, artichokes and wild flowers surround you as you walk up the cobble stone walk to the factory and the sounds of women chatting emanate from the open windows. I bought a peach and an apricot jam to take back home. They make their jams and jellies by hand and its really interesting to watch.
Peter, a new friend of mine who’s really nice, watched the sunset with me. It was really great just to relax and soak in everything here. Peter is sure a nice guy-I am glade I've met him. I am not sure why the guys I've been around before have been such jerks, I know there are many really polite and cool guys out there, maybe my lack of exposure or attitude has to do with it? Not sure. I really do not want to go home. It is not because I am unhappy there but I do not feel strongly connected to anyone but my puppy Travis and my mom who is amazing. If they were here I wouldn't mind staying here for a few years. Maybe it’s a good thing not to be attached, you have more freedom that way. My Indian crush just walked by, god he is the cutest guy that ever lived. He is from Nepal; about 5'4 with curly black hair and an irresistible shy little smile that he flashes every once in a while. He sings while he cleans in the morning and he is just sooo adorable. He works so hard and has such a gentle nature; he sure has stolen my heart that’s for sure! I better be off, we are having a teachers conference today with teachers from local villages at 10:30am. Cheers.

Insanity In Education-Evening

The conference was interesting-more like an hour and a half of arguing then anything. There were around 25 teachers gathered in a small room and all us volunteers gathered in front of them. Four of the teachers fired fairly random questions at us (such as "how do you join the military in the USA?" and "Will the USA elect Bush again?") while the women and quieter men argued amongst themselves or sat in silence. I felt as though we were being attacked and it pissed me off. I think it was the most enjoyable thing I’ve done do far-I loved debating even if they weren’t really listening. We talked a little about the different approaches of education in our two countries but the conversation (if you can call it that) inevitably strayed to politics. One thing I've noticed about Indian children is that they don't raise their hands in class, and after seeing their remodels I can understand why. The teachers interrupted each other and yelled over each other. It was like those press conferences you see on TV. I loved speaking my mind. If the teachers do not respect each other how will the children ever learn it? One of the teachers got so angry, not at us, but at another teacher he was fighting with, that he stood up in the middle the conference and left. Well, it was enlightening. The lack of participation by the women and the unwillingness of the men to shake the female volunteers hands was another thing that made my stomach clench with anger. Who do these guys think they are anyways? We tried to explain to them that our teachers generally do not beat the children into obedience and try to be supportive and encouraging when possible. I don't think they understood. Our cultures are so different. Anyways, I think Indian people are basically friendly, curious and open. About 40% are after your money or sex, resent your existence or downright hate you but the rest are nice enough. After I thought about it I realized that they probably did not mean to be rude, its just part of their culture. I actually love the part of Indian people that says exactly what they mean. It is refreshing to know that everything’s on the table...seems less judgmental somehow. The sunset is fading so I will go down (I am on the hill as usually). Tomorrow is the peach orchard. I am a little nervous but hopefully it will work out all right. C ya

Monday, June 28, 2004

Sunset Hill Again


La Lu and his flowers..isn't he cute!?

Today was nice. I visited my orchard placement for the first time which is a peach farm run by a women and her daughter who is 20 years old. I was amazed at the strength these women possessed. They have a depth and intelligent that is rarely seen in America. The orchard was amazing and the hillside was lined with peach, pear and apricot trees with a scattering of pomegranate trees in-between. The male workers were busy cutting diseased limb’s off the peach trees who have been slowly dying over the past few years from a tree disease. The peach trees that have died are being replaced by apricots and pomegranates. It was so nice and peaceful and there was a timeless feeling about it. It is a way of life so fundamental it touches something in you when your around it. Anyways, besides that the day was pretty uneventful. We went to the market to nail some post cards for Kerani and Autiqa, slept and read a lot. Look at Ateqahs web site to see some more photos of the trip. Anyways, I am starting to get into my book :The Voice Of God". That is all for today-going to the Bhuira Jam Factory.

Sad

I cried today-I don't know exactly why but I feel a little better.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

A Day Off...YAHOOO!


The gang after our fun at the waterfall

A day off! Interesting day. I have come to the realization that no one actually cares what I say which is fine with me but it would be nice if I had just a few people to fall back on when I need to talk. I guess it will be good practice to be satisfied and entertained by my "inner self". Maybe I will awaken my inner therapist. The problem with that is, I need to talk most when I am nervous or happy or on the occasional moments when I am overflowing with excitement and it is hard to keep it all bottled up. Maybe people need others to validate their existence-assure them that they are "okay". I could sure use a dose of acceptance (maybe 30 minutes or so?) right now. Anyways, the whole group of us went to a small waterfall about 30minutes away from the Ruchi house for a pick nick this evening. It is hard to convey the sublime cuteness of the staff here. Joggi and La Lu are my favorites. They have a shy sweetness about them that is hard to explain. OMG some guy in a truck just stopped next to where I am sitting on sunset hill-maybe sitting so close to the road is not such a great idea. Look busy.....the thing about India is I can never tell if they are about to gang rape me or offer me chai. I guess these guys are the chai type. They said namastee and left. So, about the waterfall. We made our way up through the jungle for about half an hour before stopping at a small, shallow pool between two huge boulders. The girls went swimming-Oh the sublime skinniness of them-someday Ill be like that although for the life of me I don't know how. When we returned home I slept for an hour and everyone else went to play cricket so at the moment I am sitting on a rock by the road waiting for the return of the crew and watching the sun sink lower through the haze of pollution that seems to be a permanent resident in the valley. The view is still incredible with peach and pear orchards lining the valley and growing on the ledges carved out of the hills so many centuries ago. I think I have discovered something better then sugar-clean cloths and soap. God, its amazing how satisfying a good shower can be. I also discovered a pair of clean pants in the free box. I am living high today! It was the highlight of my week. I feel almost pretty-a novel concept-I hope the girls stay away late so my fragile little bubble does not burst to soon. Well, I guess that is all for the moment. I think I will look through the brides wanted section in the Chandigar Tribune. On second thought, maybe I wont. It is rather depressing. They are all beautiful, smart and thin and looking for the same-maybe I will just wave at the TATA trucks instead. Signing out

Friday, June 25, 2004

Not Much To Report

Today went well in school. I think I will have to suck up and beat one of the children because they are getting a bit out of hand and I don't know how to handle it. They jump on the tables, yell, hit each other and otherwise cause chaos.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Ajays Birthday


Ajay's Birthday
Today I brought paper and crayons, which were a big, hit. I also made them name tags which did not work out so well and ended up torn to pieces on the classroom floor. Three hours with the 4th and 5th grade was a bit much-I am not sure how to use the time? Their syllabus is a joke and it takes maybe 5 minutes to get through the lesson for the day. Lunch is at 1 pm, followed by a game and another hour of teaching. I am exhausted! I came from home and collapsed for an hour before helping out with an evening group of young kids that comes to study every day at 5pm on the roof of the Ruchi house. They come for help with English and math or just to be with their friends and draw. There is the sweetest girl in the evening group. She is so open and sweet natured and always hugs her teachers and sits on my lap when she draws. She kissed my hand and touches my chin softly every time we meet and says "sundar" (beautiful) when she touches my hair. I have been think about what I want and where I am headed in the next few years and I had a revelation. I love life but I would really lik someone to share it with. I never really thought I would mind one way or the other before but being here I realize how nice it is to experience life with someone instead of just doing it solo. Not any heavy weird drama- just a cool buddy to pal around with who I can trust and is compatible with me-physically, morally and emotionally-someone who has dreams and is working on making them a reality. Anyway, we just ate a killer chicken dinner...garlic and butter chapati along with a sort of mild paneer(cheese) in spinach that tastes like tofu. A CCS staff member, Ajay-the "kool" sort-has a birthday today so we are having cake and ice cream. Sugar at last! I miss the stuff terribly. I have not prepared anything for my kids tomorrow so I better go get something together. Adios

I Start Work Today At My NGO!


My third grade students

I started my placement yesterday. It is much more challenging then I had expected. Joggi (the CCS staff manager) and Vickie (the little sikh who met me at the airport) walked me up a narrow and steep rock path for 10 minutes or so, passing by rickety rock huts with straw thatched roofs. As we walked up the pather children began to materialize out of the huts and orchards to either side of us and follwed us yelling "Halo, Halo!". We soon came upon the school. It is amazingly simple. A two-room cement building in the center of a small quart yard. The instant we entered the schoolyard a cheer resounded through the village and the children rushed to greet us. It is the genuine thing-100% pure rural India- and it is wonderful. The teacher, Leela, arrived about 20 minutes after we did. The children immediately left their seats on the floor around us and stood in three straight lines of around 10 kids each-youngest to oldest. The three oldest children would box the younger children on their ears if the slouched or shuffled to much. The kids put their left arm straight in front of them so (Nazi style) so that their finger tips were just touching the child’s shoulder in front of them and stood straight as rods. After stamping their feet in unison at the orders of Leela, and they all completed a recitation of the national anthem together. The children then marched in a circle twice and proceeded to sit in rows while one child recited home work ( a new child did it every day). Leela, who seems very stern yet kind in her own way, didn't act over joyed at my presents. At least she was not openly hostile I guess. With a sharp command the 1st, 2nd and 3rd graders ran into one of the two classrooms. lLeela jerked her head toward the door and as soon as I had entered, slammed the door shut behind me. No experience and zero training and her I was with 15 young, expectant children starring wide eyed at my every move. As I looked about I realized I did not have a whole lot to work with. No paper, no pens, and no books accept three 10-page pamphlet’s that had been given to me by Leela. All I had to work with was a box of chalk, a board, several small wooden desks and my imagination. Well, the day passed alright-the children pretty much just repeated every word that came out of my mouth. They know their ABC's and numbers up to100 but colors were not very easy for most of the children and my lack of Hindi knowledge was a huge barrier. I was picked up at 1pm but my schedule for the next few weeks is 10-3pm at the Gov. Primary School, 4 days per week. I will also spend 2 days at a peach orchard that I have not seen yet.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Day One In Rajgarh


The Ruchi house-our new home


We have arrived in Rajgar, a small hill village in Himashal Pradesh (HP) where I will teach English for my first 3 weeks in India. The economy is based on agriculture (mainly fruit orchards) and handy crafts. A quiet place, Rajgarh will be a great prelude to the hassle and noise of the Delhi. The train ride was lovely and the 3 hour car ride was equally enjoyable if not a bit hair raising. The foothills are much cooler then Delhi and the air, while still thick with pollution, is relatively clean. The locals have carved out ledges in the hillsides to build orchards, fields and roads sort of like the way they do in Puru. The town of Rajgarh is around 4000 people but the total population including the surrounding areas is more like 20000. God it is incredibly beautiful here. I am sitting on a hill looking out over a lush valley. The whole landscape below is lush and green and small huts are dotted here and there on the steep slopes. A windy road makes it way through the valley floor and I can just see the specks of fruit trucks (TATA's) winding back and forth on the cutbacks. The distant sounds of rattling vehicles and singsong horns are mingled with children’s voice and the occasional mooing of a cow from the marketplace. I came here to make a difference but as I gain a clearer understanding of this country I realize it is me who will be changed and learn from them, not the other way around. We (Americans) have this notion that the world needs to be saved by us. I am begging to realize more and more that they do not need us at all. It is really a shame when we impose our values on others and judge them by our ideals, especially when people in our own country with their suburbs, Wal-Mart’s and SUV's aren’t happy most of the time. Does having a two-car garage, white picket fence and Abercrombie apparel makes us better then the rest of the world? Well, as far as I can see, consumerism doesn’t cut it so why do people get so caught up in it? Anyways, enough rambling. I am going to stroll on down to the Ruchi house (my new home) and catch a few Z's...c ya

Monday, June 21, 2004

The First Day Of Our Program


CCS Staff (L-R) La Lu, Rakesh, Kaiwal, Joggy, Vicky and Ajay

Well, my momentary lapse of despair yesterday seems to be over for the most part. My fear and inferiority feelings have been replaced with rage, which is an improvement of sorts. I can feel it ripping and expanding inside me and I feel so much more empowered then I did yesterday. I told Benji that I would not go to his village and to go away. The little guy took it fairly well and of course he stayed right where he was. I felt better taking the situation into my own hands never the less. The CCS group had an orientation today which was not much to speak of-then we went to a small Indian restaurant which was pretty good. They served, what seemed like hundreds of courses. The first was soup in a cup followed by soup in a bowl (lentil) fried bread and a rice cake joined by more soup came next with dosa (a fried flat bread stuffed with potatoes). The whole thing was polished off with another rice cake soaked in a sort of banana/honey syrup. Yum Yum! The rest of the day we just walked around Hauz Khaus market. I bought a camera for 1500 rs (25$). All went smoothly today. My group is much more like a family then the other group and I feel like I can relate to most of my fellow volunteers fairly well. One of the guys (Peter) even hiked part of the Appalachian Trail-koool ha?! He is also polite and tall-someday, yep. someday I'll find a guy that nice. Anyways, we will be off tomorrow for Rajgarh @ 6:15pm on the train- I cannot wait: ) Getting late so I better get going-signings off. G-nite.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Stressed Out Continued


Mandi (Henna)

We left the park after a few hours and went to the National Museum and it was nice (air-conditioned-sheer heaven!). The room dedicated to carving had several amazing pieces intricately carved with scenes of love/religion and history in marble and ivory. We ate at the museum and proceeded to one of the larger, more modern shopping malls in Delhi-Ansal Plaza. It was a thoroughly depressing experience. Not only am I a giant, I am also obese, unattractive, stupid and unkempt-fuck. They all weight under 100lbs and rarely soar above 5'2ft. Benji called his family for nearly two hours while I poured out sweat by the gallon and tried not to snap at the stupid tittering gawking girls that were staring at me or ring their scrawny little necks. Returning to the American imitation mall he bought me a lassi and a cold smoothie before strolling through India’s version of lovers lane. We talked (or rather he talked) for hours. His father was an alcoholic and he left home when he was young. On the way home I had to consciously restrain myself from bursting into tears. The guy has a kindness to him but he’s so hard to read. <---written when VERY tired and hot P.S. Benji paided for me to get my henna on my hands (a sort of temperary tatoo). They turned out awesome!

Stressed Out


Rikshaw

I was pretty stressed out today. I went with Benji the whole day. Maybe it is culture shock or the constant heat but people staring at me from the second I step out of my apartment till the time I step back in and having a constant demanding little shadow follow me around all the time telling me I’m fat, I am stupid, I’m careless, I’m not thinking of my body I should wear makeup, I should cut my hair-god it sure is wearing me down. He is so delicate to look at yet his lack of gentleness is hard to deal with-pinch, bite, pull, push-it sure does get old. I was inches from tears almost all day. If I was back home it wouldn’t get to me as much I think but here its like something is wearing you down 24/7 and you never get a chance to get completely on your feet again. My lil shadow (Benji) took me to the place called Rajghat where Gandhi gave his last speech; a sort of memorial park full of well maintained grass, trees, and lazy cattle resting in the shade near a big lake in the center of the park. On are way there we went through crowed of war protesters chanting what I imagined to be anti American comments and holding up signs in Hindi.The CCS staff had worned us to stay away from old Delhi at all costs but Benji seemed to have forgotten that and for a few brief moments I wondered if I would be dragged from my fragil 3 wheeled rickshaw and beaten to death. SCARY! Anyways, the park was nice but at the same time unsettling. The men were so gawky and I felt a threatening vib in the atmosphere. I felt unsafe away from the crowds of tourists. Once, when we settled down in the shade of a large bolder near the lake, two cops actually came and told us not to sit so close together or preferably not together at all. One guy even took it upon himself to stay and stare at us unashamedly after the others had driven away on their motorcycle. I think staring at strange and bizarre sights such as aliens with six legs, giant pink frogs and the strangest thing of all...now prepare yourself.are you ready? WHITE WOMEN! Never mind the camels, elephants, paradise, ancient forts intricately carved and inlayed with precious stones or other banal objects of interest that are commonly seen on the streets of Delhi, the women with skin lighter then theirs was the only thing worth staring at. Benji hardly noticed but by the end of the day it was all I could do not to scream F#$@ OFF BASTARDS and punch the next wide-eyed man I saw in the face. (Can you tell I am a little tense!)

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Settling In


The market

Well, I am in India! Wow, I can hardly believe it.... Its not near as hard or as poverty stricken as I had expected. I think I’m going to like it here, the people are rather shy and much more polite then in Mexico...Ill be teaching English and working with a woman at her orchard...which sounds really neat. Her husband is in the navy and she is working their alone so she needs some help with the animals and the fruit. The staff here is pretty quiet and shy but they treat us like royalty. It’s hard to get used to. When we walk in the drivers and cooks all get up and give us their seats and leave.... before asking if they can get us anything. I love it here...I am sure Ill come back next year. I haven’t had any culture shock so far and jet lag was hardly noticeable...god its so awesome to be here finally! Its hard to take pictures because everyone stares and it looks so touristy...know what I mean? My stomach is so tense all the time...more with excitement then anything.... I’m so happy! Wow.... I took a rickshaw yesterday to the bizarre.... slightly hair rising ride but very interesting to see the people on the street. The most noticeable thing about India is the smell...like fruit and sweat and some sort of sweet flower all rolled into one. It’s so thick it seems like your swimming in it sometimes...they also use their horns instead of turn signals or lights...they use them ALL the time when they drive. Another thing is that people sleep everywhere...benches, the street, on their bike seat or handlebars, anywhere...I don’t know how they do it...anyways everyone’s heading back to the flat so I better sign off. we might go to the Red Fort today but I am not sure...the Taj tomorrow if I can get someone to come with me...

Benji

I have a date (so to speak) with Benji at around 11am today. Yesterday the CCS volunteers and I went to a small bizarre called Delhi Haaut. It was hot but bearable. There was some nice hand carved tables and boxes and their cloth and tapestry is amazingly beautiful. I bought a loose fitting green salwar khamis. Salwar Khamis's consists of baggy pants and a long top that ends at about knee level as well as a scarf known as a Dhuppata that covers the chest and thus sustains the modesty of a woman . The outfit I got was all right but some of the women were wearing some really amazing dresses that looked so feminine compared to the tradition tight revealing clothing worn in most US high schools.

NIGHT

God I’m worn out! The heat doesn’t seem all that bad until you are in it for a few hours and then it sucks the life right out of you. Benji picked me up about 1pm (2 hours late) with flowers and a big card. He’s a funny looking little guy. Thin and about 5'4 with a lazy eye and the most confident attitude I’ve ever come across. He was polite, paid for everything and was reasonably gentleman like which was certainly unexpected. The Delhi Gate was our first destination and then the Red Fort. It was beautiful but the whole day seemed more like a dream then a reality and the heat was sufficating. The guys are complete and total assholes. I’ve never been around such blunt prejudice or lack of manners in my life. Everyone stared and the men occasionally made comments to Benji like-"Enjoy yourself I hope"- yuck! Men with no manners are a disgrace. There were some beggars and such but it didn't bother me-I’m not sure why? Poverty does not seem to affect me all that much somehow. The traffic in Delhi is crazy; it’s amazing more people aren’t killed. After that we went and met Benji's old landlord, which was the favorite part of my day. She was a really sweet old lady and I liked spending time with her even though I couldn't understand a word she said. She was so sweet and showed me the pictures of her family that included two boys (one in the USA, one girl and her husband. She spoke no English but that didn't seem to matter somehow. I also met Benji's room mates (Mohit and Puru) but I wasn't as comfortable with them. They seemed rather distant and reserved or maybe it was simple shyness. Benji is so different. He is like a bird, bones like, well.... like a bird. I guess thats why I wasn't afraid to go with him. Unless he got some help in the shape of a weapon or men there isn't all that much to fear from him. All I’m afraid of is he will leave me somewhere and I can't find my way home or he will make a big scene at CCS. His concept of love is so different then our perspective back home. Indians seem to posses a blunt honesty that is somehow not insulting. For example can you imagine going up to a complete stranger talking briefly and then stating unashamedly "you sure are fat aren’t you?".... Try it and you would get a pounding...in India it’s just an observation. Maybe there isn’t as much judgment in that for Indians like we would have. Benjamin’s room is about 12x12 and he lives there with Mohit. We talked in the park near my apartment until 9pm or so and here I am. I only had 2 small bowls of rice and lentils today and I feel like I've eaten a horse.... strange what heat does to you. A whole gang of volunteers arrived last night-preppy tan social lights mostly although there was one amazingly studly jock (he’s gonna be in Rajgarh so I am in luck) and the preps will be in Dharmshala. The mysteries of calling and emailing were unveiled to me today. The phone booths here are called STD booths...lol...I got back to late to get on the list to go to Agra to see the Taj so I guess Ill be hanging out with Benji (*sigh*). Ahh I can't keep my eyes open any longer-I swear I've lost 10lbs today!

Friday, June 18, 2004

Arrived At Last! Calmer Then Expected


Delhi

OH MY GOD! I am in India. All this effort and time and thought over the last few years and *POOF* just like that we are half way around the world. It’s a whole lot more mellow then I thought it would be. WOW I’m in India!!! Lets see, this day has been so long. We left Sisters around 2pm and picked up Kerani before we headed East to Portland. It all went smoothly, we checked our bags in and we were whisked us off to Seattle where we would end up tapping our feet and periodically getting up and to check the time for the next 5 or 6 hours. The ride to Seoul was anything but a thrill ride but we finally made it after 13 hours in the air. There was one major difference between the USA/India and the Korean airlines. The Koreans seem to have an almost obsessive attitude toward cleanliness and they are incredibly tidy little people. The toilets have automatic seat covers that change after every use and little speakers in the bathroom that make the noises of birds chirping and other soothing sounds to cover up our natural noises. They seem to all weigh around 100lbs. and I can't imagine them within 100 miles of a farm-seem to be more of a mall dwelling people. Their food was different as well. Pickled cabbage and boiled sprouts in teaspoon portions over a 1/4 cup of rice seemed to be the norm-no wonder they are all so thin. From the floral scented plane to Korea we boarded the flight to New Delhi. The smell was the most noticeable change; it seemed to be a mixture of over ripe fruit and sweat with various others smells mixed in that I could not identify. The faces were darker, the expressions more hardened and the atmosphere seemed to be teeming with life. Just 8 hours away from India! We arrived at 12pm in Delhi and were greeted by two men, one rather tall and chubby and the other a small little man whose head was wrapped thoroughly with a turban and seemed to be a bit afraid of us. Their handshakes seemed more like grasping moist butterflies then actual hands. Both of the men seemed shy and quiet. With barely a word bustled us into a 1950's style taxi that took us to our apartments in a complex known as Hauz Khaus. We were introduced to David-a fellow volunteer and temporary roommate and were left to our own devises. Its 2am so Ill TRY to sleep even though it’s like swimming in a 95degree pool of sweat here. Goodnight.

Hauz Khaus

I woke up feeling great. The night was not as hot as I had expected and the day has been fine so far. I called Benjamin, a pen pal I've talked for the past few years. I just wanted to talk to someone familiar-damn he has caller ID. I don't know what I will do with him. I would like to meet him but I don’t want him around 24/7 causing trouble and I’m sure he won’t leave me alone once he finds me. God knows why I put up with him-talk about a genuine basket case! Anyways, I met another volunteer by the name of Michael (check out his website!) who seems real nice. He’s from the Seattle area so I feel like I can sort of relate to him since I grew up there an all. I can't wait to meet everyone. I feel so much more at home here then I ever have at school. I think I could fall in love with this country. We strolled around the apartment complex briefly, it is so unlike the way it’s portrayed, no dying, no cripples, no cows and no piles of garbage (well not allot). I don't understand why India has such a bad reputation. It’s more or less like Mexico but the men are thinner and more insectoidish and it's more.... I don't know...Indian?! Well, the cook (Suresh) is making breakfast and we are going to the Cross Cultural Solutions (CCS) office in about half an hour so I guess Ill sign off. Might be going to Jamma Mosquid, the Red Fort and a bizzare or to. Later Gater.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Pre Trip Log


Kerani, my travel companion for my first month in India

I will be off tomorrow. I can hardly believe it! It seems like Ill be getting up and heading to Black Butte Ranch to lead the brain dead Cali’s around the woods all day like every summer-explaining that dropping your reins and screaming every time your horse trips or puts his head down to nibble one the foliage is actually not the best plan. Every now and then, a glimpse of what lays ahead hits me and a "holey shit" feeling rolls over me briefly and then fades away leaving me with a vaguely unsettled feeling. It's the sort of feeling you get when you stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon in a thick fog and stare into the emptiness knowing there is something there that-although unseen- is larger and more powerful then anything you can possibly imagine. Kerani (a fellow Sisters High student) and myself will be leaving around 1am on Wednesday from Portland to Seattle with a 4 hour lay over in Seoul Korea and finally arrive in Delhi about 12pm. It will be like well I’m actually not sure at all what it will be like. Something unlike anything I have done in my brief 18 years amongst humanity that is for sure and I, hope whatever happens will be a worthwhile and rewarding experience. I am so lucky and I hope I get the chance to make a difference somehow. Cheers! Wish me Luck :)