By The Grace Of God Go I (and God indeed has boundless grace!)

Writting in my diary in Benji's flat

Men! Yuk.... Talk about slimy creeps, I just had an experience with one. Last night was the worst hotel experience I have ever had. I think my faith in men is almost completely dead. I was talking to the waiter and actually having a half way decent conversation for a change. I was starting to think he was actually a nice guy who wanted to talk. Foolish me. He said he wanted to show me a great view of the Mosque and so I agreed to join him on the roof (big warning sign...never go on the roof!). Okay so I go and sit by the edge and watch the view (truly amazing). I was quiet happily observing the huge domes and lights coming from the mosque when I turned to look at my "friend". First, let me explain that the reason I took the chance of being alone with this guy is because he was only about 5ft tall. That is a 10-inch hight difference! Therefore, if he tried anything I could easily fend him off. Anyways, this little guy starts to undo his belt and then lunges at me with his mouth wide open like a starving dog that has not eaten in a month. I would have been afraid but he was so little I almost laughed. He obviously had no idea what romance was and even if I were one of those "loose" Americans, he would not have won me over with that. It was pathetic and a little scary at the same time. Rape, it is a real possibility here. I was shocked. You know the scary thing is I did not get that angry with him. I am to damn polite. I mean that, if I do not get a grip, it will kill me. The little guy smashed his face against me before I could come to my senses. I had to literally hold his head back. Truly, it was the worst experience with a guy that I have ever had in my life. Grope, smash, hump, yuk! If they are obsessed with sex they might as well learn to be romantic. I think the Italians have the idea. They may be into all of that but at least they know how to do it well. I went back to my room. At 2 am, someone knocked but I did not open the door. At 7am, someone knocked and I thought it was my room service order so I opened it. Raj! After a few seconds struggle I pushed him out enough to shut the door. I lay in bed for hours before I got up enough courage to venture out into the street. Thank God, I do not live in a Muslim country! It is unbelievable that people choose to impose such limitations and oppression upon themselves. I am in the CCS office now waiting for the travel agent who is coming to give me my train tickets to Udaipur. LATER Dealt with the tickets-he will bring them by tomorrow cuz he brought two instead of one by mistake. I am waiting for Benji. He probably wont show up but , I have missed the little guy. Bless his psycho heart, no wonder he is insane living in this country. My standards for guys have sure dropped. If they do not kill me or insult me I feel like hugging them, I am so grateful. I really care about him. He insisted I stay with him and his roommates in his flat. I am actually glade about it. I think I would die if I stayed in that hotel one more night and I am pretty sure Benji wont kill me. Benji is the most honest and unpretentious guy I have met here. In America, they would lock him away but here he is nice to have around. I hope his life turnes out all right. I could not stand it if he got hurt. He is so little and innocent in some ways. I wish he could see life in America; it would change his whole world.