Saturday, September 18, 2004

Thanks To All My Sponsors!

I would like to thank the following people and business for making my dream become a reality and for being such a posative and uplifting force in the community.

Lind Chiropractic Center
335 NE LAFAYETTE AVE, BEND, OR 97701-4555, (541) 389-3072

Richard and Debbie Benson with Golden Bridge Seminars

Joan Quiggly


Bob Casper

Mike Baynes

Vickie and Virginia at Lazy Z Ranch

And most of all Raine Tyler.....my mother.


DANYAVAD!! (thank you with all my heart)


Friday, September 17, 2004

Home Sweet Home

I made it back. I burst into tears when Igot into the PDX but somehow it seemed like I had never left. I miss India already. I feel like I left part of me behind, like I left my home back in Delhi. India seems almost like a dream, was I ever really there at all? The sores in my mouth are gone but I get these waves if nausea every few hours that really suck. The world and life itself sem unreal. It is like I am watching someone elses life through someone elses eyes. Im totaly removed from it all. I have become addicted to India.

Back....physically

I made it back to school. I burst into tears when I got to Portland but it was not really that much of an adjustment. It is almost like I never left at all and just had a really vivid dream. The sores in my mouth are gond but I still get waves of nausea every few hours that really suck. The world and life seems so unreal. It is like I am watching life through someone elses eyes. I am not back yet. I miss India so much.

Friday, September 10, 2004

No You Don't!

Jesus a lot has happened since I last wrote in here. I am just leaving Delhi. “What?” you might say, “she was supposed to leave 4 days ago. Well, one of those unbelievably stupid mistakes I often make has caught up with me. I looked at my ticked for the fifth and somehow though that 110 must mean 11:00. I missed my flight! Before I go into that and the last few days, allow me to relay what little I can remember about what happened between the 4th and 6th. AI finally did meet Ajay and had a one sided conversation with him while I ate mo mos and tried in vain to him to eat something. Benji and I hung out everyday after that and went to Pizza Hut and the coffee place across from Hauz Khaus to spend time together. We went to two movies at a new cinema about 20 minutes from the flat. The first was a Hindi movie, Phir Melinge or something like that. It was good. The movie examined the injustices and misunderstands surrounding people who had been diagnosed with HIV. The second movie was Shrek 2. It was not brilliant but I was glade to see something in English all the same. I invited Benji over to look at some of the pictures that had been developed and sat outside on the steps to show them to him. Bela showed up and just about blew up. She was enraged. For the life of me, I cannot see why. I have never once invited him into the flat. She is sway to “above it all” and I do not think she walks her talk at all with her nice car and new cloth. Do you remember that Punjabi taxi driver I liked so much? He took me to the airport and before I left, he told me I was a “beautiful girl”. Now that was nice. He did not ask for anything, just gave a simple compliment. I could have hugged the man. After being put down and criticized so much by Benjamin, it was so nice to hear someone say something nice to me. Benjamin was there waiting and I gave him a letter that I had written along with 500 Rs. and walked inside. After waiting for half an hour and noting the absence of Seoul on the departure list, I figured out what had gone wrong. Benji, bless his little crazy heart, took care of me the best he could. Unfortunately, there was a holiday the next day and all the airline offices were closed; I was stuck in Delhi for the next 4 days. I am actually glade I did because I got to spend time in a real Indian household and got a much better idea of how things work there. I stayed in Benjis house because I had no money and he would not hear of me staying in a hotel. My attempts at making him American food failed terribly. I think the fruit salad and mashed potatoes I made were possibly the worst food I have ever had. He did not say anything but I think I have given a few Indians a bad impression of American cuisine. Benji on the other hand is an amazing cook. He mad fish curry and fish fry and they were amazing. The last two days he was serious and I could not tell if he was tired of me or sad to see me go. Mohit was also a big help, went to get food, movies, and checked on the airlines for me. They treated me more like family then anyone I have ever known. I really like Mohit. He treated me as if I was human which was nice. I would love to repay them someday. I wrote him a note on a dollar bill saying that I hoped he would consider being my brother. Puru was nice to but a little shifty. Sonu (Purus friend) seemed very sweet but he knew no English so it was difficult to communicate. I bought them pizza on the last day before I left and Puru and Mohit got me two small glass gunesh’s and a card. Finally, we all piled into a taxi and had the most terrifying drive I have ever had to the airport. It felt so perfect being surrounded by five guys who all were nice and were polite with good hearts. I knew that if any man so much as touched me the would jump him. It was as if I had five brothers for a few minutes. I never felt so at home in my life or so accepted. The driver was insane. He came within inches (literally) of head on collisions several times. We finally parted at the airport and I headed into the bowls of the airport and back to being invisable.

The Flight

I am within an hour of San Francisco. I stink, look like hell and feel like shit. I have watched Shrek twice and Harry Potter twice and on my third round now. AMERICA Finally, the USA. Oh God I hate this country. It is so depressing to think I cannot go back to India for at least a year. The people here are so anal and self-centered; almost reptilian. I do not know how I am going to deal with it. I feel like I have left my family and home back in Delhi. I love the place even though it nearly killed me. The police here are even worse then Indian police. The second I came off the plane they started questioning me like I was a criminal…”how did you pay for your trip? Why did you go? What did you do there? Are you a terrorist? Whom do you live with? Why are you alive?” It does not seem like home anymore. They may not rip you off, stare at you, or treat you like a sex object but they do not smile or invite you in for Chai or treat you like family either. I miss India so much already that it hurts. Maybe I will move there next time. I have to get enough money to buy a house for mom and get someone to watch over her first. That should only take 20 years or so…I do not know, I will figure something out. PORTLAND I have no ride home. I will have to get the goddamn shuttle. All I want to do is be there. I would do anything to be back in India right now or home in the shower. I have not seen a mattress, washing machine or a dishwasher forever. I would choose kind people over showers or machines any day. Well, I will start crying if I keep thinking about it so I guess I will go wait some more. Thirty hours in the air and 15hours waiting and just 7 hours until I am finally in my own house. I have not eaten in three days and I am sick as hell. I cannot chew or swallow without tears coming to my eyes cuz of the sores in my mouth and I stink. However, I have taken a bucket bath in by candlelight, climbed atop a camel and ridden through an Indian village, and worshiped in the Golden Temple so at the end of the day, I would not givethat experiance up for the world.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Is India Trying To Kill Me?

Something is wrong with my blood test and I am going to the MAX hospital tomorrow to find out if I have 6 months to live or I just need to eat more carrots. I am at the last feedback meeting right now. The Dharmshala group came back yesterday and is practically in ecstasy explaining about their blissful experience there. I skipped out on having lunch with the patience at the hospital in order to go to the MAX hospital myself. Benji looked up my diagnoses on the blood report (Mild Leukocytes and lymphotyes) and apparently, it is either an indication of HIV, TB, or cancer. God I hope it is TB. Only in India could you be happy withg a diagnoses of tuberculosis but there you have it. Waiting…. The doctor is a jerk. He is the same one I had last time who had a “consultation” with me which amounted to jack *&%. When I said I had constant cold shakes and fever he replied with "okay, take some vitamins and good luck". Thanks doc, I could not have figured that out on my own! The guy literally did nothing. He did not come within 5 feet of me and didnt ask one question about my health history or anything. This is getting me all tense; I wish they would hurry up.

Hindi Words And Phrases

These are some words I have picked up while I've been here. They are spelled as they sound.

  • TeekAy or Teek: Okay
  • Shabash: Good
  • Danyavod (Danyavad): Thanks
  • Sundar: Beautiful
    Ha/Nai: Yes/No
  • Baksheesh: A bribe
  • Nock: Nose
  • Tum: You
  • Pyar: Love
  • Pet: Stomach
  • Moti: Fat
  • Mandi: Henna
  • Hout: Lips
  • Dot: Teeth
  • Rucco: Stop
  • Paneer: Cheese
  • Panee: Water
  • Shant: Cool (as in fashionable)
  • Larkee: Girl
  • Larka: Boy
  • Ap ka nam kia hai: What is your name?
  • Mera nam_____ hai: My name is____
  • Khan: Ear
  • Deco: Look

If you would like to learn more Hindi words you can go to http://www.wordanywhere.com/ and check it out.


Thursday, September 02, 2004

Another Fight

Benji and I got in a mega fight today over nothing. It is amazing how much you can fight over nothing when you put your mind to it. The neighbor guy came over when Benjamin was out getting “Freaky Friday” and asked if we were married. When I said no he asked if we had sex. Just like that! The guy did not even know my name. When I told Benjamin about it he started getting all snappy and rude to me! That totally pissed me off. The guy came over and insulted me and Benji got mad at me! I went downstairs but Benjamin had already told his landlord and I had to do an unconvincing song and dance about having to go to back to a meeting and that everything was fine. I did not want to cause trouble because the guy had a wife and little boy. It would be embarrassing for them and I do not want to cause any scene for them. This is a guy who complained to the landlord about having me to visit because I was a “foreign” girl. They are worried about me, they are the ones that are obsessed with sex and have no manners! I really appreciate the landlord (his names Shatrughan by the way) welcoming me so warmly. I left when Benjamin was upstairs. It was a incredible bad idea to leave after dark alone but I did it and as usual, I was lucky. The rickshaw driver was a nice old man. I cried the whole drive home and the guy looked worried. I do not care what they say; hotel men are 100x worse then rickshaw drivers. Benjamin followed me home and looked genuinely afraid tfor my safety. He always tries his best and I wish he knew how much I appreciate his help. If I let him know he just demands more energy and attention and I am running critically low on those. He went shopping for me and bought spice and tea. He is so helpful.

Advise

Advise And Tips



  • Avoide brightly colored beverages
  • Be cautious in all isolated areas (parks)
  • Avoid eye contact
  • Carry only 1 big bag and pack light but make sure you have enough underwear
  • Do NOT get a cheap hotel room near Jamma Mosjuid
  • Bring Sandles, silk shirts, a watch, soup and music
  • Never believe anyone if it is in their interest to lie
  • Beware of ALL men
  • Don't get too worried about making times, cuz your train or bus will always be late (if it comes at all) and you will miss everything, so relaxe
  • Do not trust someone just because they are a police office or someone in authority
  • Don't take anything personal
  • Notice the random beauty
  • ALWAYS get the price of a service before you accept it
  • Question EVERYTHING
  • Bring floss
  • Beward the mango shake!
  • Duct tape your guide books so you don't look quiet so touristy
  • Be careful what you talk about(ext. hippies, drugs, etc.) you may be misunderstood by uneducated Muslims or conservative Hindus
  • Be respectful at all times
  • Trust your gut above all else
  • Bring a dairy or book everywhere you go (especially women) incase you need to look busy
  • Stay away from the party scene
  • Carry a rage with you everywhere especially in the summer
  • Never go on a 2nd class sleeper train alone (women)
  • Learn to defend yourself and carry pepper spray if possible (not that it will help in most situations but at least itw ill make you feel better)
  • You can't go wrong with Pizza Hut if your feeling a bit sick of Masala