The Flight

I am within an hour of San Francisco. I stink, look like hell and feel like shit. I have watched Shrek twice and Harry Potter twice and on my third round now. AMERICA Finally, the USA. Oh God I hate this country. It is so depressing to think I cannot go back to India for at least a year. The people here are so anal and self-centered; almost reptilian. I do not know how I am going to deal with it. I feel like I have left my family and home back in Delhi. I love the place even though it nearly killed me. The police here are even worse then Indian police. The second I came off the plane they started questioning me like I was a criminal…”how did you pay for your trip? Why did you go? What did you do there? Are you a terrorist? Whom do you live with? Why are you alive?” It does not seem like home anymore. They may not rip you off, stare at you, or treat you like a sex object but they do not smile or invite you in for Chai or treat you like family either. I miss India so much already that it hurts. Maybe I will move there next time. I have to get enough money to buy a house for mom and get someone to watch over her first. That should only take 20 years or so…I do not know, I will figure something out. PORTLAND I have no ride home. I will have to get the goddamn shuttle. All I want to do is be there. I would do anything to be back in India right now or home in the shower. I have not seen a mattress, washing machine or a dishwasher forever. I would choose kind people over showers or machines any day. Well, I will start crying if I keep thinking about it so I guess I will go wait some more. Thirty hours in the air and 15hours waiting and just 7 hours until I am finally in my own house. I have not eaten in three days and I am sick as hell. I cannot chew or swallow without tears coming to my eyes cuz of the sores in my mouth and I stink. However, I have taken a bucket bath in by candlelight, climbed atop a camel and ridden through an Indian village, and worshiped in the Golden Temple so at the end of the day, I would not givethat experiance up for the world.